英語幽默故事【新版多篇】

英語幽默小故事13：A Fine Match 篇一

Onedayaladysawamouserunningacrossherkitchenfloor.Shewasveryafraidofmouse,sosheranoutofthehouse,gotintoabusandwenttotheshops.Theresheboughtamousetrap.Theshopkeepersaidtoher,“Putsomecheeseinitandyouwillsooncatchthatmouse.”

Theladywenthomewithhermousetrap,butwhenshelookedinhercupboard,shecouldnotfindanycheeseinit.Shedidnotwanttogobacktotheshop,becauseitwasverylate,soshecutapictureofsomecheeseoutofamagazineandputthatinthetrap.

Surprisingly,thepictureofthecheesewasquitesuccessful!Whentheladycamedowntothekitchenthenextmorningshefoundapictureofamouseinthetrapbesidethepictureofthecheese!

幽默故事翻譯：勢均力敵

有一天某位女士看到一隻老鼠在自家的廚房地板上竄過。她很害怕老鼠，所以她衝出屋子，搭上了公共汽車直奔商店。在那兒，她買了一隻老鼠夾。店主告訴她：“放點奶酪在裏面，很快你就會逮住那隻老鼠的。”

這位女士帶着鼠夾回到家裏，但她沒有在碗櫥裏找到奶酪。她不想再回到商店裏去，因為已經很晚了。於是，她就從一份雜誌中剪下一幅奶酪的圖片放進了夾子。

令人稱奇的是，這畫有奶酪的圖片竟然奏效了！第二天早上，這位女士下樓到廚房時，發現鼠夾裏奶酪圖片旁有一張畫有老鼠的圖片！

英語幽默小故事14：GardeningGloves

FormonthsIhintedthatIneededanewweddingring,sinceIhaddevelopedanallergytogold.Onmybirthday,whileIwasgardening,myhusbandaskedmeforgdmyhandsupandsaid,“Well,you‘llnoticethatmyhandsarebare.”

LaterthateveningIopenedmypresentwithenthusiasm.“Happybirthday,”hesaid,asIunwrappedanewpairofgardeninggloves.

幽默故事翻譯：園藝手套

幾個月以來，我一直在向丈夫暗示我需要一枚新的結婚戒指，因為我對黃金有點過敏。生日那天，我正在幹園藝活時，丈夫問我想要什麼禮物。我舉起雙手説：“嗯，你肯定看到了，我的兩手都是光光的。”

那天晚上，我滿懷熱情地拆開了丈夫送的禮物。“生日快樂！”他説。我打開一看：裏面包着一雙園藝手套。

英語幽默故事8. 篇二

Just before graduation from university, my son and several friends were discussing the role their families had played in their career plans. My son, who had been accepted by a college of optometry, had been quiet during most of the talk.

“ How about you, Dale?” one of his buddies asked. “ Was you pushy?

“ No, he replied. “ I had complete freedom of choice. I could be any kind of doctor I wanted to be.”

英語幽默小故事 篇三

Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, “That is really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, and you keep calling your wife those pet names.” Morris hung his head and whispered,“ To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago.”

Bernie應邀來到他的朋友Morris家吃晚餐。在朋友家，Bernie發現，不管問他老婆什麼問題，Morris總要在每句話的前面加上一些親密的稱呼，象蜜糖，我的愛人，親愛的，甜心等等。Bernie對Morris説，“你們夫妻倆真夠親密的，結婚這麼多年了，你還叫她叫得那麼親密。”Morris低下頭，小聲地對Bernie説，“老實跟你説吧，三年前我忘記老婆的真名是什麼了。”

英語幽默小故事1：Midway Tactics 篇四

rverswaitedformayhemtoensue.

Theretailerontherightputuphugesignssaying,“GiganticSale!”and“SuperBargains!”

Thestoreontheleftraisedbiggersignsproclaiming,“PricesSlashed!”and“FantasticDiscounts!”

Theownerinthemiddlethenpreparedalargesignthatsimplystated,“ENTRANCE”。

幽默故事翻譯：中間戰術

三個互相爭生意的商店老闆在一條商業街上租用了毗鄰的店鋪。旁觀者等着瞧好戲。

右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌，上書：“大減價！”“特便宜！”

左邊的商店掛出了更大的招牌，聲稱：“大砍價！”“大折扣！”

中間的商人隨後準備了一個大招牌，上面只簡單地寫着：“入口處”。

英語幽默小故事4：Five Months Older 篇五

TheSecondWorldWarhadbegun,andJohnwantedtojointhearmy,buthewasonly16yearsold,enthearmydoctorexaminedhim,hesaidthathewas18.

ButJohn‘sbrotherhadjoinedthearmyafewdaysbefore,doctorrememberedtheolderboy‘sfamilyname,sowhenhesawJohn‘spapers,hewassurprised.

“Howoldareyou?”hesaid.

“Eighteen,sir,”saidJohn.

“Butyourbrotherwaseighteen,too,”saidthedoctor.“Areyoutwins?”

“Oh,no,sir,”saidJohn,andhisfacewentred.“MybrotherisfivemonthsolderthanIam.”

幽默故事翻譯：五個月大

第二次世界大戰開始了，約翰想參軍，可他只有十六歲，當時規定男孩到十八歲才能入伍。所以軍醫給他進行體檢時，他説他已經十八歲了。

可約翰的哥哥剛入伍沒幾天，而且也是這個軍醫給他做的檢查。這位醫生還記得他哥哥的姓。所以當他看到約翰的表格時，感到非常驚奇。

“你多大了？”軍醫問。

“十八，長官。”約翰説。

“可你的哥哥也是十八歲，你們是雙胞胎嗎？”

約翰臉紅了，説：“哦，不是，長官，我哥哥比我大五個月。”