幽默風趣的英語小故事（精品多篇）

搞笑的英語小笑話9：Where is the father? 篇一

Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

“Look,” said the elder brother. “How nice these paintings are!”

“Yes,” said the younger, “but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?”

The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, “Obviously he was painting the pictures.”

父親在哪兒？

兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。

“看，”哥哥説，“這些畫多漂亮呀！”

“是啊，”弟弟説道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢？”

哥哥想了會兒，然後解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。”

搞笑的英語小笑話6：Put your feet in 篇二

The school girl was sitting with her feet streched far out into the aisle ，and was busily chewing gum, when the teacher espied her. “Mary ！” called the teacher sharply. “Yes,Madam?” questioned the pupil ， “Take that gum out of your mouth and put your feet in!”

把腳放進去

一個女學生坐在座位上，嘴裏起勁地嚼着口香糖，腳卻伸到課桌間的走道里，被老師發現了。“瑪麗！”老師嚴厲地叫她。“什麼事，老師？”這女學生問。“把口香糖從嘴裏拿出來，把腳放進去。”

搞笑的英語小笑話2：I Wasn't Asleep 篇三

When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: “Wake up, sir!”

“I wasn't asleep,” the man answered.

“Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed.”

“I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car.”

我沒有睡着

當一羣婦女上車之後，車上的座位全都被佔滿了。售票員注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他擔心這個人會坐過站，就用肘輕輕地碰了碰他，説：“先生，醒醒！”

“我沒有睡着。&r()dquo;那個男人回答。

“沒睡着？可是你眼睛都閉上了呀？”

“我知道，我只是不願意看到在擁擠的車上有女士站在我身邊而已。”

英語幽默小故事 篇四

Don't Pick Up the Money on the Ground

An economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them. The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother.

Why not?

If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up  already.

Everything that can be invented has been invented.

別撿地上的錢

一位經濟學教授和一名學生正在大街上行走，這時他們看到前面的人行道上躺着一張20美元面值的鈔票。學生走過去準備撿，教授制止了他，告訴他別自尋煩惱。

“為什麼不撿？”

“假如那是一張真20美元鈔票的話，早就有人撿走了。”

“該發明的都已經被髮明出來了。”

搞笑的英語小笑話8：The poor husband 篇五

“You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife,” the man complained to his friend. “She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.

可憐的丈夫

“你根本無法想象和我妻子打交道是多麼的難，”一個男人對他的朋友訴苦説，“她問我一個問題，然後自己回答了，過後又花半個小時跟我解釋為什麼我的答案是錯的。”

搞笑的英語小笑話10：Does the dog know the proverb, too? 篇六

The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

”It's all right,“ said a gentleman, ”don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?“

”Ah, yes,“ answered the little boy. ”I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

英語幽默小故事 篇七

The Less You Know, the More Money You Make

Theorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.

Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.

Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time. Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we have

Knowledge=Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.

Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make.

知識越少掙錢越多

定理：工程師和科學家永遠應當比經濟專家掙錢少。

下面是對該定理的一個嚴格的數學證明：

假設一：知識就是力量(Power)。

假設二：時間就是金錢。

每個工程師都知道：功率(Power)= 。既然知識=力量，時間=金錢，我們有：知識= 。求解金錢表達式，我們得到：金錢= 。

因此，當知識趨於零時，無論你做了多少功，金錢趨於無窮大。

結論：知識越少，你掙得的金錢就越多。